An empty chair

Pisces season was draining this year; it was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting for me. There were times that I felt such a heaviness over me I couldn’t breathe.

Shame was my companion for most of it. I have been asked to put my arm around her and tell her that it will be okay. I can no longer hide her in the shadows in hopes that she will remain silent. Incorporation of what she represents is vital to my continued growth so even it if feels “bad” I am allowing her space to be.

For the Vernal Equinox I took a journey into Shame’s energy. She led me to the apartment complex where I grew up. Below the apartment rooms were garages. I saw her there, between garages, screaming at a chair that was empty. She was yelling, “You Never Loved Me!” among other angry obscenities. I could feel her pain- it hurt.

As I watched this scene unfold I realized that I was simply yelling at an empty chair. Sure, at any given time there could have been any number of people sitting in that chair fully deserving my wrath, but those people no longer exist in my life and I was left just yelling at the emptiness of what was.

This profound vision links to a deeper message. I have spent many, many years of my life- unconsciously screaming at that empty chair. Continuously reminding myself that I am Unloved. The echoes of this energy has drained me on a deep level and has continued to scar me long after the damage of those people who sat in that chair fully deserving of my anger have passed on.

So, today at the New Moon, I set my intention to relieve my duty in guarding and harassing that chair. I allow myself to release the pain that has kept me stuck in the constant reminder of my “lack” and I choose to walk away- to reallocate the energy spent in remembering the chair to endeavors that feed and fuel my soul.

It is time to allow the fire of Aries season to cleanse us- to release us from the patterns we carry that are no longer serving us.

Saturn will remain in Pisces for 3 years. During this time, the planet of restriction and limitation, will be assisting us in the deep dive into our own dark places so we may be renewed with remembered wisdom.

Embrace the path and let go of all your empty chairs.

It was just an empty chair
Sitting there
I was yelling at the space it held
“You never loved me!”

Any number of men
Could have been sitting there
But it was empty
And I was just trapped by time
Screaming obscenities
To air

sending love

Tarot message- March

Ace of Wands reversed

This card, appearing during the Astrological New Year & the Spring Equinox, brings tidings of renewal and rebirth.

From the fire of our inner heart, energy is now flowing, allowing us to see the sprouting hopeful whispers of what we planted during the dark of the Winter Solstice. Now is not the time to shrink away from new opportunity, learning and experience. Step fully, this month, into the new.

Listen deeply to your heart and take a risk on its deepest desires. Take a deep breath and allow the energy of this time to wash over you. Receive all the many blessings you have been watering and nurturing.

What you do this month, really sets the stage for beautiful blessings come summertime. Do not hold back now- embrace your calling, your heart’s deepest desire to connect with all life force energy… this is a renewing cycle- receive the energy the is flowing now.

photo of mountain under starry night sky

2/10/23- Mercury conjunct Pluto

Pluto is the planet of transformation, death & rebirth. This transit adds depth and intensity to thinking and communications.

You may uncover secrets through probing, questioning and research. Self analysis is also favored. This is a great time to dive into the shadow of the self to find deeper truths.

Intellectual power struggles are possible- it is best to take a step back and not argue, but rather observe. Anxiety may also be possible due to the intensity of mental activities. Relaxing is important to overall health at this time.

2/8/23- Venus sextile Uranus

During this time, you will be drawn to fun and excitement in social and love relationships. Finances are also highlighted and you may experience unexpected financial blessings now.

Creative and artistic work will be fostered and you may experience great breakthroughs in how you create and express your inner vision.

Uranus is the planet of sudden change and you may find yourself introduced to new, interesting people. This is the time to be willing to take a risk and see where it leads you.

2/3/23- Sun square Uranus

Open-mindedness and flexibility are required during this transit as feelings of uncertainty may take center stage.

The effects of this transit may present as an uneasy, anxious feeling- and this buildup of tension can result in unpredictable behavior on your part.

You may also experience unexpected outbursts from others. Try to avoid arguments and keep your energy focused inwardly, step up your self care routine.

This is a time to try to acknowledge the uncertainty with a faithful heart and trust your path.