This New Moon Solar Eclipse has affected me greatly.
The energy building up to the new moon found my intuition stagnant and negativity that was stored deep within rising again.
The lashing of my heart led me into a dark and angry place; acting out, my tongue reacted faster than my mind and my emotions couldn’t keep up with the onslaught of such returning tides.
All that I have been working through to find peace felt like it fell upon me like a mighty wave crashing shore.
Yet my heart endured because my practice has been steady. The commitment I have made to my practice has helped me understand how to see more quickly old cycles playing out and has allowed me to dismantle them before they overtook me wholly (as they have done in the past).
Anger still lingers a bit, but my face is more relaxed and my mind is slower. The pain that was joining my heart to the past is less raw now; and I am beginning to see another way around.
I am learning that when we are stuck in a situation that is no longer working, it is vital to change things up. It is so easy to get stuck in a routine… because while routines are positive in so many ways; they block us from growing when we no longer believe in them and rather go through the motions of doing them because we “think” it is the right thing to do.
I am learning slowly that I am okay; that it is okay to have these emotions; that it is okay to express them even. I am learning that in order to release the blocks that arise, as we deal with the ebb and flow of existing, we need to find new and better ways to break them down and get them out.
Perspective here is tantamount. When we are overcome with emotions (as I have been during this new moon solar eclipse) we need to find a distance from them. In order to gain perspective we need to remember who we are… that we are these divine beings having a human experience; that we are stardust and sunshine and songbirds and soft summer winds.
Take a deep breath, listen to a guided meditation, take a walk in the woods- find a way to disconnect yourself from the pain of your existence; so that you can better release that suffering. It is important to not allow yourself to dwell within the suffering; as that is a black spiral of pain that will go no where but into further darkness and misery. Change your routine; find a new way around.
New opportunity knocks as we transition around the spiral of our human-ness; as we are called to truly experience the human within the divine; as we are asked to run the gauntlet of emotions and thoughts until we have mastered the course. And only then, when we feel we have run to the end of this great spiral of our unique experience; can we join a new understanding- and run a new thread of energy.. on and on we go until energy itself; until life itself; until we as collective divine; rejoin and rejoice.
Always keep compassion for yourself in your heart and forgive your past for the suffering it has caused you. Send gratitude to the future knowing that you are growing into your unique existence and breathe deeply into the present- you are alive right now, reading this, feeling your heart beating, your lungs taking in air, your eyes meeting the blue sky with a present knowing. You are here now, we are connected, you are not alone.
If this New Moon had a similar affect on you, breathe into yourself; change your routine by doing something different (paint, write, sing, walk in the woods, whatever you can) to gain perspective. I am sending you love and healing.